Sunday, January 16, 2011

Protection, Support and Preparation

A funny title, you might think.  But as I went to help my husband on Friday, having shipped the kids off to Granny for a sleepover (the man seizes every opportunity - won't let me potter around in peace at home, oh no!) I thought of these three things. Things that I deem essential when ones husband disrupts ones dreams of peaceful days at home alone, disrupts ones dreams of vegemite on toast and tall glasses of cold milk for tea, and getting a job done without any sort of interruption....sigh.

Anyhoo, on Friday The Husband demanded my assistance in transferring a rascally band of cows from point A to point B - a journey of some 14 odd kilometres (should one be travelling in a straight line at all times, which I most certainly did NOT).

Before I go further, I must point out that I did not take a camera, and even had I done so, I really wouldn't have had the chance to take any photographic masterpieces in any case...sigh. So today I thought I would illustrate with some old fashioned cowgirl pics. Surprisingly hard to find (well, for a G rated blog anyhow!) , and let me give you one other piece of advice: think carefully about your search words, innocuous as you might think, when you type in the word cowgirl and any other word combination. Don't say you weren't warned!


But back to the discussion in hand.

PROTECTION:  north west Qld in January = HOT, and SUNNY (with a slight chance of getting wet, if one is extremely fortunate).  HOT and SUNNY = bad news for this fair skinned individual.  So, at long last heeding the advice my father gave in my youth, I most certainly slip slop slap, and then some. Wide brimmed hat (in this case felt "cowboy" style hat, although I have been known to wear ones favourite old floppy fabric gardening hat on more than one occasion) long sleeved shirt (buttoned up to the top, unlike girlfriend above!), generous applications of SPF +++++, cotton neck scarf ( to further cover ones neck and when things are REALLY bad, face) and GLOVES.  Gloves not so much for protection ones delicate hands from rough work, but for the back of ones hands from the sun. Jeans and sunglasses - should the day be bright and sunny, and of course, boots (or joggers if one can't find where one last left darned boots!)

So thus attired, one is ready to mount ones steed, or in this case, four wheeled motorbike, whilst ones husband impatiently waits for the application of sunscreen (being of the notion that the stuff will kill him) and pulls on ones gloves. But Husband has learnt to be patient, or at the least hide impatience!  as wives have been known commit mutiny if ungratefulness for wives attendance is shown. ;-)


So, off we go, at speed, to the paddock, where the collection of rascally cows is commenced, and where the SUPPORT part comes into the equation. 

How shall I put this delicately?  Let me see...lets say, if one wants to retain any sort of bosomy pertness (should there be any left what so ever after three kids) one wears ones best and firmest undergarments. It might be highly amusing for ones Husband (and any cheeky male employees or helpers) to see one try to ride a motorbike one handed, whilst trying to prevent an uncomfortable jiggle and bounce with the other arm/hand, but its not amusing for the unhappy and unprepared person it is happening to (please excuse the bad grammar there, but I can't think of another way to explain it!) I don't think I need to elaborate any further on this matter?!

And while not covered by the topic of support, it falls under undergarments:  wearing hot jeans, sitting on ones bum on motorbike for hours and hours: leave the lacy little numbers at home. This will be the day that you will love your cotton granny knickers! ;-)

cowgirl-poster And so that brings us to the last bit, PREPARATION. And while you may think I have it all covered with the above topics...let me set you straight. When one's husband says "we won't be long" he is being very conservative, and one needs to be prepared for a very long outing.  A water bottle goes without saying, a portable snack or two (muesli bars and apples are a good choice)  are great for keeping ones blood sugar in the right place, as smoko time and lunchtime come and go, and most importantly, a few tissues or folds of toilet paper in ones pocket. Now I dunno about you, but after bearing three kids, a couple of hours bouncing around on the motorbike (plus the intake of water on a hot day) means sooner or later ones bladder is going to make itself known. You won't know how much you appreciate that little bit of forethought until the day you forget.

I must note that I wrote this blog post in my head when I was behind that mob of rascally cows, and of course, I couldn't remember the true lyrical eloquence that I thought up that day.  And no, a notebook didn't make it into my pocket, but perhaps I should add it to my mental list of essentials!

So there you go: protection, support and preparedness! 

See you next time with some office re-organising.  Well, more like tidying, and culling and spider chasing, but whatever you call it, it looks SO much better now. Hmm, without looking at the floor of course! ;-)


  1. Oh Sharon!
    Is there anything strikes fear in a woman more than the words "Can you just give me a hand for a minute"?
    And support! Lord how I need support ... in so many areas! And whether it be a horse, a bike or a tractor, yes the old Berlei's worth her weight in gold!
    PS. I don't actually get my comments emailed to me, so can't reply directly. (I'm also a little technologically challenged so am open to suggestions).

  2. OMGosh Sharon, too funny need for photos I have all sorts of images running round my head ;)

  3. lololol. I couldn't have said it better myself. Mind you if I didn't have to listen for a word of direction I would have ear plugs!!!!!

    I get at 6 pm 'how about we duck round the cattle - it'll only take 1/2 hour or so' yeah right by 9 pm....


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